The older I get, the less use I have for meanness, which is why I’m all the more disgusted when I see it in myself. One of the scariest truths in the Bible can be found in Matthew 12:25, where Jesus says, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” When I think about things I’ve said when I was angry or hurt—or just stuck in traffic—the heart from which those comments overflow can’t possibly be mine, can it? If so, it needs some serious searching and examination.
We all leave a legacy of meanness or kindness, love or spite. When I was 32, I lost my best friend to cancer. We had been college roommates and remained like sisters from then on. I don’t write about Missey very often because I guess I still miss her too much. But when I think about what she left behind—what exactly was it? She left behind the love that she gave, the good she did for other people, the memories she made with everybody she cared about, the many, many times she made us all laugh with her quirky sense of humor, all the beauty she created for others to enjoy—in her case, wonderful paintings. In my case, I hope it will be good stories. And maybe that stellar pimiento cheese recipe I high-jacked from my friend Mary Allen:)
So much of what we spend our time fretting about—money, jobs, houses, bills, appearances—doesn’t amount to much. Nobody’s going to remember whether your house had 1500 square feet or 5000, but they will remember every kindness you ever showed them. They will remember every time you helped them or encouraged them. Every time you laughed together. Every time you cried together.
Every act of love lives on, and not just as a memory. When we show love to someone else, we’re encouraging and inspiring them to do likewise. Love really is the gift that keeps on giving. Meanness? Not so much.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels,
but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong
or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom
all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give all I possess to the poor
and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,
but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
I Corinthians 13: 1-8
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