Yesterday a small package came for me. When Dave asked what was inside, I said, “My spring shoe wardrobe.” It’s worth mentioning here that my cousins used to call me Imelda, as in Imelda Marcos, infamous in part for her vast shoe collection. But these days, a pair of super-cushioned Clarks sandals seems to be all I need.
If nothing else, the past year has been a lesson in priorities, in “essentials” and “nonessentials."
6 new pairs of spring shoes: Nonessential
My own comfort while I juggle all I’m juggling: Essential
Work clothes, church clothes, weekend clothes, and vacation clothes: Nonessential
3 or 4 Zoom tops and comfortable clothes that keep me warm or cool: Essential
Constant entertainment: Nonessential
Contact (even the distant kind) with people I love: Essential
It has been a revelation to me, over the past year, that so many of the things I thought I needed were based on whom I was going to see. They're all about how I'm going to be perceived by other people—will they think I'm dressed appropriately, will they admire my uncomfortable shoes, will they think this or that or the other. It's all about my perception of other people's perception of me. Not an original thought, by the way. Somebody shared a quote with me one time—and I'm sorry but I can't remember the source. This is roughly it: It's not about who you think you are, and it's not about who other people think you are; it's about who you think other people think you are. Strange, right? But the past year has made me think about it—about how much we do to try and shape other people's perceptions of us instead of spending that time and energy becoming who we feel led to be and doing what we feel led to do.
Recently, I lost a dear friend and mentor to cancer. Another beloved friend has been hospitalized with COVID. Both of them always struck me as holding fast to their genuine selves. I’ve always considered them both “essential” because they’ve been such a blessing in my life—teaching me and inspiring me and caring about my family and me. Their love and compassion have always shone through.
Which brings us to the ultimate essential: love. Nothing else matters much without it.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love, I have become
sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
And though I have the gift of prophecy,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains,
but have not love, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods
to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,
but have not love, it profits me nothing.
Love suffers long and is kind;
love does not envy;
love does not parade itself,
is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely,
does not seek its own,
is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity,
but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things . . .
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I Corinthians 13:1-7, 13
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