Sunday Morning Serenity

Julia T. McKinney, age 90, passed away on February 20, 2021, at the Decatur Morgan Hospital in Decatur, Alabama.

You might read that and think to yourself, “Bless her heart, she lived a long time.” Yes, she did—but not long enough for me. Despite the best efforts of an outstanding assisted living facility and a loving and protective family, Julia contracted COVID, and at her age, she just wasn’t strong enough to fight it.

She her husband, Ed, were our dear friends and neighbors for many years until he passed in 2017. And then, as she had always told me would be the case, with one of them gone, the other couldn’t go it alone. She moved away to be nearer her family.

I first met the McKinneys when I was 30-something and single, the proud and terrified owner of my first house and first yard. Mr. McKinney was my gardening buddy and adviser. She was the deliverer of banana pudding for special occasions. Long before Dave and I married, he boarded his vintage car in an old, detached garage behind the house, where he and Mr. McKinney spent many hours installing a convertible top on that 1963 Buick. (For years, Mr. McKinney tried to persuade Dave and me to call him “Ed,” but it just seemed disrespectful, and we couldn’t do it. She was “Mrs. McKinney” until he got really sick, and then I made the shift to “Miss Julia” and finally, just “Julia.” Through the course of his long illness and passing, we somehow became girlfriends.)

I remember once, years and years ago, when he wanted to build a fence or repair a fence—something about a fence—just shy of the property line. He came over to explain in detail what he wanted to do and to make sure we didn’t think he was encroaching on our lot. I told him that would be fine, but what I was really thinking was, “Sweet man, I feel so lucky to have you as my neighbor that if you asked to park your minivan in my living room, that would be fine.”

With the McKinneys gone, I can’t help feeling that part of me is gone, too. But I’m trying to turn that around and think about how much I gained by having known them. They were soulmates who were in love with each other all the way to the end of their time here. Their faith in God and in each other gave them a sustaining strength. What a blessing to have that kind of example living right next door for all those years.

If there can be a silver lining to the cloud we’ve all been living under, I hope it’s that we’ve learned to value each other a little more—a lot more. I can have a pity party over a minor setback, but Julia never lost her positive outlook or her engagement with the people around her. (Once she moved into assisted living, I had to time my calls around the Bingo hour and other activities.) I treasure a small collection of the china she painted, one of her many creative pursuits. When I look at those finely painted, delicate flowers on the tea set she gave me, I'll think of the hands that drew them—always kind, always ready to help, always reaching out in friendship and love.

Comments

[Betty Lee]

Great neighbors are priceless

[valerieluesse]

Absolutely!

[Allison Grill]

Valerie, this is so beautiful! We also shared the kind words you wrote about her at her funeral, and we were all moved to tears. She was so blessed to have you as a neighbor, and talked about you often. I couldn’t agree more about her positive outlook! I recently shared about her in a Bible study, and how she was an inspiration of contentment:

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭31:25-31‬ ‭NIV‬‬

That was Gran.

Thanks again for this beautiful tribute.
Allison Grill (granddaughter of Julia and Ed)

[Valerie]

How sweet of you to write, Allison. And what a wonderful Scripture passage, so appropriate for your Gran and my dear friend Julia. I've heard so much about all of you and your visits to Mountainside Road! You have such a wonderful family. Much love to all of you.